How basking in the unknown, the uncertainty, and the fears can build your resilience?

Just the other day I fell into one of those slumps.

You know, the ones you get into sometimes out of nowhere.

The ones that make you feel crummy.

All the while you know deep down that everything is as it should be.

Yet, you can’t quite put your finger on why you feel the way you do. As if something is off.

Before becoming a coach, these funks could last days. Sometimes even weeks.

This reminds me of a story one of my mentors, Stephen Gilligan, shared with me.

He studied the martial art of Hapkido and had always wondered what was the difference between a beginner student and a master.

So, he asked his own master that very question, who simply said:

“The only difference between me and my students is that I can find my center much quicker so that I can control the energy and masses around me.”

After several years doing inner work with coaches, I now have the ability to recover and recentre myself a lot faster.

I’ve learned how to leverage resources around me and shake off the familiar uneasy feeling of discomfort.

Leaning into my uncertainties, my doubts, and my fears rather than resisting them was the game-changer.

You may have noticed that what you resist, will persist.

Over the years, I’ve built the ability to approach circumstances with equanimity, without a negative or positive reaction, which helps me avoid being triggered.

After overcoming the slump, I asked myself, how was I able to recover so quickly.

This is when I came up with a 6 step process to help me identify and alleviate mental pain, stress, and anxiety;

Step 1) Awareness

Realizing that something is off is the first stage of recovery. Nothing else needs to be done at the point.

Step 2) Acceptance

Accept the fact that something is off and know that it’s OK to feel what you do. We’re human and we all feel varying degrees of uncertainty, stress, or fear, often when we least expect it.

Step 3) Listen

Get really quiet. Close your eyes if you have to and sit in silence for a moment. Listen to your inner voice and notice what it’s saying to you. What thoughts keep coming up in your head? Then notice where you feel the emotions in your body. Look for how quickly or slowly is your heart beating. What is your body temperature? Our bodies are amazing systems that are constantly sending us signals to either do or see something that we’ve missed.

Step 4) Resourcefulness

The truth is everything happens for a reason. When we succeed, we learn. When we fail, we learn even more. As you live life, circumstances will arise, and regardless of them being good or bad, there is always a lesson to take away. You’ve come this far and you’ve likely overcome something similar to what you’re feeling now either alone or with the help of others.

Now is the time to call on all those resources. For me, I look to my family, mentors, and friends who have always supported me. along my journey. They remind me of how powerful I am and how I already have what it takes to overcome whatever it is I’m going through. They give me the courage and certainty needed to persevere. At this stage, I visualize them standing around me and asking everyone “What would you do in this case?”

Step 5) Gratitude

Being grateful for whatever is going on will help you uncover the hidden lesson. When you find it, you’ll soon realize that there’s an action that you now have to take or notice a newfound perception from which you can operate.

Step 6) Commit

There is an important distinction between intent vs. commitment. Intent is something that would be nice to have done while commitment is something you will get some and be able to live with integrity, knowing that you’ve accomplished what you set out to do.

Now is the time to commit to taking action or seeing from a newfound perspective. Decide on what is the next easiest thing you can do to make a positive difference in your life and do it.

The slight sense of growth and progression will have you feeling great about yourself and you’ll soon notice the feelings that came with the slump start to dissipate.

Once you get through hardship, don’t forget to celebrate your wins. Like many of us, you’re on a long journey of self-growth filled with obstacles. Now that you’ve overcome this one, you can help someone else by sharing your story which will hopefully inspire them to take action just like you did.

If this post was helpful, comment below and let me know what was most useful for you.

Have an amazing week!

Much Love,

Alex

P.S. Here are 4 other ways I can help you increase your levels of happiness, peace, and freedom as a creator of your best life;

1. Join Project Elevate – for 3 months of capacity expansion, led personally by me. Plus, receive a complimentary ticket to the next Alexander Lin Intensive.

2. Alexander Lin Intensive – The flagship program where you get to unplug, slow down, and reconnect with your reasons for being. It’s an opportunity to spend 3 days with me and the members of my community which could potentially become your life-changing mastermind.

3. Join Kingsmen, the Private Men’s Network. It’s a life-changing brotherhood that makes your success their mission. You get weekly live group calls with me and other leaders—and you join our Private Facebook Group to access personalized guidance and consulting, so you don’t get lost and you stay out of confusion. Usually, the difficult part is the aspect of overcoming fear and building trust. This isn't an issue here! Kingsmen is for anybody interested in what it means to be a leader and take control of their own destiny. 

4. Private Coaching is where you bring your desires, I bring my jetpack. Together, we’ll build that ship made of ‘impossible goals’, get them so high off the ground, and have you look back with wonders of why you were thinking so small when we started. It can be challenging, powerful, and transformational. If you’re interested in reserving a future spot, go here.