In a Nutsheel: How to Get the Most Out of Coaching by Karen Davis and Alex Mill
Coaching can be a transformative experience, but it can also be a frustrating one if you don’t know what you’re doing. Karen Davis and Alex Mill have put together a comprehensive guide on how to get the most out of coaching, and they’ve done it with humor and wit. This book is a must-read for anyone looking to make the most of their coaching journey. In this summary, we’ll look closely at the top 5 secrets to optimizing your coaching experience and real anecdotes from my boutique coaching practice.
1. The Importance of Clarity and Purpose
The first step in getting the most out of coaching is having a clear purpose and understanding of what you hope to achieve. Coaching is an investment of time and resources, so it's important to know what you want to gain from the experience. Before you start, take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve, what you hope to gain from coaching, and what your goals are.
At the start of a client’s coaching journey, I like to have them show up to the first call with:
Their biggest fears: the things that keep them up at night
Their biggest dreams: 3 objectives/goals they’d like help with
When do they hope to achieve these goals?
Why do they think they haven’t achieved them yet?
A willingness to experiment.
This sets the framework for any deep and meaningful conversation during which insights arise more often than expected.
2. The Power of Active Listening and Communication
Coaching is all about effective communication, and that starts with active listening. It's essential to listen carefully to what your coach is saying and to ask questions that clarify your understanding. This way, you'll be able to get the most out of your coaching sessions and gain the insights you need to succeed. Additionally, being an active participant in the coaching relationship will help you build a strong rapport with your coach and make the most out of the coaching experience.
3. Setting and Achieving Realistic Goals
Setting and achieving realistic goals is crucial to the success of any coaching relationship. You'll want to work with your coach to identify specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. (Download a copy of SMART Goal Creator) You can read more on this topic in my earlier article here called “In a Nutshell: 7 strategies for wealth and happiness by Jim Rohn”. This will give you a clear roadmap for your coaching journey and help you stay focused on what you want to achieve. By setting achievable goals, you'll be more likely to make progress and reach your desired outcomes.
In my experience, SMART Goals are good but are often not enough. Once you’ve created 3-5 smart goals, you will want to ensure they are worthy of your time, money, and energy. Worthy goals, coined by Coach Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS), are ones that have enough rocket fuel to take to you to the moon and back.
So, how to find a worthy goal? You have to have a potent combination of 3 things:
Thrilling: What does thrilling mean to you? To me, it’s what fires you up. and makes you rub your hands with excitement. It has you going HELL YEAH! while being delightfully selfish. It’s actually about you.
Important: Can you give more than you take? As JFK once said, it’s not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country! Power of importance is the counteraction against self-centeredness.
Daunting: It needs to make you have sweaty palms. It should get those hairs on the back of your neck standing up. You have a good idea of how to start, but there’s plenty of uncertainty about how you’ll finish.
4. Staying Accountable and On Track
To get the most out of coaching, it's important to stay accountable and on track. Your coach will help you identify areas for improvement and support you in reaching your goals, but it's up to you to take action and progress. Make sure you're following through on the commitments you've made to yourself and your coach, and stay focused on your goals. Regular check-ins and progress reports can help keep you accountable and on track.
Here’s a true story.
Keeping clients accountable can be as simple as giving them a challenge with consequences for failure.
In one of my group coaching programs, one person was working on a business goal.
He was trying to map out a streamlined property management system for his clients’ journey and was challenged to submit his final product before the end of 7 days to our private Facebook group.
The return on investment for getting this challenge done was high however, so were the stakes.
If he didn’t complete the challenge, he would have to take each of the 7 guys on that call out to a local Thai Michelin Star restaurant that would cost around $300 per head.
Despite his unwavering confidence, things got out of hand that week which resulted in him confessing his failure.
Lucky for him, we established that negotiations are always on the table as long as we come to a unanimous vote.
The group agreed to let him host a barbecue at his house instead of taking us all to a fine dining experience.
5. The Role of Self-Reflection and Continuous Improvement
Finally, it's important to understand the role that self-reflection and continuous improvement play in optimizing your coaching experience. Take time to reflect on your progress, what's working well, what isn’t, and what can be improved. Use this feedback to make adjustments and continue growing and developing. Coaching is a lifelong journey, and it's essential to continually work on yourself and strive for improvement.
Actionable advice:
There are thousands of life coaches out there, but not everyone is for you.
Make sure you take the time to get to like, know and trust the one you decide to go with because the more you resonate with their style of teaching and coaching, the more you’ll get out of the relationship.
Make sure they have a proven track record of happy clients who have achieved results and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Most coaches will offer you a 15-minute ‘discovery call’ or a quick 30-minute ‘strategy call’ which may work for some.
For me, I like to think that together, we’ll build that ship made of ‘impossible goals’, get them so high off the ground, and have you look back with wonders of why you were thinking so small when we started.
I’ll help you see through the limiting beliefs and any BS you’ve been telling yourself.
I promise to serve you, not please you. You’ll hear things you need to, which are sometimes truths no one else would dare say.
Together, we’ll play along the edges of comfort because this is where we’ll find growth.
You will be challenged.
Some days you’ll love it; other days the work might feel scary and a bit weird. Always, you’ll know that I’ll speak from a place of truth and see you as far more extraordinary than you think you are.
I’m won’t hold you accountable. You do this already.
Work with me and you’ll transform in ways you never thought possible.
My clients invest from $6,000 to $50,000 to work with me privately.
More importantly, they invest their time, their energy, and their full openness to growing in all areas of their lives.
My coaching is not for everyone.
For those who say YES! And to whom I say YES! I say this: YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.
When you are ready, you can book a consult so we can hop on a call and have a powerful conversation.
I’ll block off 1 hour for us to dive deep and get you some quick wins.
There is no obligation to use the entire 1 hour.
And, at the end of it, if you decide that you want to continue our work, we can explore further.
If you feel that we aren’t a good fit, consider the session a gift from me to you.
In your corner,
Alex
